Here’s the latest news out of Washington, D.C., that you won’t read anywhere else. In a news conference at an undisclosed location, four House Representatives were asked questions about their vote to impeach the sitting president. Their main goal was to charge him with high crimes and misdemeanors and then go look for evidence to convict him. They did not want their true identities to be revealed, so we gave them aliases so they would talk.

Representative Everybody was behind this effort, and so Representative Anybody was given the opportunity to say what they suspected or thought happened. Representative Somebody even claimed to have overheard incriminating evidence on a phone call, even they were not present when the call was made. But Representative Nobody was willing to stop making the charges even though no evidence of a crime could be found. There was an important job to be done and Representative Everybody was waiting for Representative Somebody to do it because Representative Everybody was too confused to do it.

They all agreed that Representative Anybody could have done it, but Representative Nobody actually tried to do it. Then, Representative Somebody got angry that no evidence could be found because that was really Representative Everybody’s mission to find it. However, Representative Everybody thought that Representative Anybody should have done it, but Representative Nobody realized that was because Representative Everybody couldn’t get it done.

Consequently, it ended up that Representative Nobody told Representative Anybody there was no “there,” there, so Representative Everybody blamed Representative Somebody for messing up the whole affair. Now, they don’t know what to do with the nothing they have. So, Representative Everybody is waiting for Representative Somebody to come up with a plan. – Dr. Robert R Seyda, Inspired by an article in The American Legion Magazine.