09/12/26

In the recent tariff war between the US and Canada, I got to thinking: what do you call a person or nation whose retaliation makes things worse, often engages in escalation, or acts as an aggressor who causes counterproductive harm? The dictionary says that someone who responds to a minor problem with a major reaction, making the conflict grow out of control. Such an unpredictable person whose actions (including revenge) cause unintended damage to their own side or cause.

So I wanted to know what psychologists had to say about it. Psychologists do not have a single specific label for a person whose revenge backfires, but they describe the behavior as retaliatory escalation or part of a high-conflict cycle driven by poor emotional regulation. They note that a hostile reaction aimed at getting back at someone that is fueled by anger rather than logic. This causes a dynamic where each person’s reaction grows more intense, turning a small disagreement into a major crisis. A term used by some psychologists for people who have rigid, all-or-nothing thinking and a persistent pattern of blaming others, making conflict worse when they try to “fight back.” They noted that when provoked, the emotional brain (amygdala) floods the body with stress hormones, completely shutting down the prefrontal cortex—the area responsible for rational thinking and long-term planning. Research also shows that people who seek revenge often spend more time brooding over the conflict, which prolongs negative emotions and triggers further aggressive choices instead of giving them closure.

With that in mind, I looked to the Bible for an explanation of such a person. The Bible says that retaliation is foolish and only creates a larger cycle of anger, destruction, and pain instead of fixing the problem. Revenge makes things worse: Fighting back with anger or insults usually fuels the other person’s wrath, turning a small disagreement into a major conflict. Thus, retaliation is a sign of foolishness: Scripture views quick-tempered reactions and the need to “get even” as traits of a fool who lacks self-control. The Bible tells people to step back from payback and trust God to handle justice fairly.

We see that in Proverbs 15:1: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (A calm reply stops a fight from growing, while a sharp comeback makes it worse.) Proverbs 20:22: “Do not say, ‘I’ll pay you back for this wrong!’ Wait for the Lord, and he will deliver you.” (Trying to punish someone yourself is discouraged; patience and trust in God are promoted.) Romans 12:17: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil.” (Believers are commanded to break the cycle of retaliation entirely.)Ecclesiastes 7:9: “Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” (Holding onto anger and reacting instantly leads to poor choices.) Proverbs 26:21: “As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife.” (A person who constantly fights or retaliates keeps the fire burning.)