POINTS TO PONDER! 08/01/26

Not too long ago, I heard a sermon in which the speaker concentrated on the word “submission,” taken from the Apostle Paul’s letter to the church in Ephesus concerning a wife submitting herself to her husband. (5:2). He asked three theological experts about what submission meant, and they gave him three different answers. It is my understanding that being submissive means being willing to yield to the authority, control, or will of another. It involves being voluntarily obedient, compliant, or unassertive. In other words, if you are forced or pressured into obedience to become submissive, it is not true submission; it is slavery. The key phrase in submission is, “mission.”

When checking with psychologists, I found that while rigid submissiveness can lead to resentment and a loss of personal agency, healthy forms of “submissiveness” in marriage involve mutual, voluntary cooperation. Rather than subservience, it is often a consensual, flexible exchange of influence where partners trust each other to take the lead in specific, agreed-upon areas. Not only that, but marriage experts stress that “submission” should not be confused with being a doormat or tolerating mistreatment. Instead, it refers to accepting influence from a partner and yielding to their expertise or leadership in specific domains, because constantly sacrificing your needs to maintain harmony frequently leads to anxiety, burnout, and emotional fatigue. Furthermore, research consistently show that equal decision-making and a balanced sharing of power yield the highest levels of relationship satisfaction and longevity. 

In the Bible I found that it views submission as a voluntary act of humility, love, and service rather than a position of inferiority. It is framed primarily around surrendering to God, mutual submission within the community, and specific relational roles. At the core of the Bible, believers are called to submit entirely to God, which is tied to faith, peace, and spiritual protection. James 4:7: “Submit yourselves therefore to God.” We see that before outlining specific roles for husbands and wives, the Apostle Paul instructs all Christians to submit to one another out of reverence for the Christ. However, this instruction is paired with the command for husbands to love their wives sacrificially, just as the Christ loved the church—by giving Himself up for it. 

The Bible emphasizes that this mutual dynamic is not a mandate for domination or abuse, but a partnership rooted in mutual love, respect, and servant leadership. But it doesn’t stop there. Christians are also instructed to submit to societal structures—such as government and employers—for the sake of peace, order, and doing good. And 1 Peter 2:13 tells us to: “Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human authority: whether to the emperor, as the supreme authority…” Paul goes so far as to tell slaves to Colossians 3:22: “obey your earthly masters in everything…” (In modern contexts, this is broadly applied to employees respecting and honoring their employers). Therefore, ultimately, biblical submission is an active choice to humble oneself to serve others, mirroring the example of Jesus, who submitted Himself to the will of the Father. (Matthew 26:39; Luke 22:42).