It would be silly of me to try and educate the precious women in men’s lives on what you already know about how their man communicates with them. But I thought you might be interested in knowing what he is really thinking, from a man’s point of view, when you try to get an honest response to your questions or requests.

First, what your man really means when he puts the word “Yes” in front of any response such as “Yes, dear” or “Yes, darling!” It means, that he has quickly decided not to ask you “why” or “what for” because he knows it might offend you or start an argument. So, he’ll respond to your request just to get it out of the way so he can get back to doing whatever he’s involved in and thereby earn some points with you for good behavior as a caring man.

Secondly, what your man really means when he responds to your request by saying, “Why not!” It doesn’t imply that he’s all that interested in actually doing what you’ve suggested, but it indicates that at the moment he doesn’t have any alternate suggestion that’s strong enough to persuade you otherwise, nor does he have a secondary idea to offer what he thinks would make better use of his time. So, it is better for him to be courteous rather than insist on being right.

Thirdly, what your man really means after you ask him, while he’s driving, “Are you lost?” or “Do you know where you’re going?” by saying “No, I’m not lost. I know where I’m at!” It doesn’t mean that he’s in denial about actually being lost, he knows that already. It’s his way of protecting his role as your superman and knight in shining armor. He wants to earn your trust and admiration even if it takes him two hours to sort out directions that should have only taken thirty minutes. You see, there’s nothing that thrills a man more than when his wife brags on him and compliments him for getting things right, even if it does take longer than it should.

The best way for a lady to respond to such adolescent responses from her man is to pretend that she doesn’t really know what he’s truly thinking, and take what he says as a compliment. After all, this is nothing more than his attempt to overcome his weaknesses in order to impress her and be strong for her sake. Men know that a woman would rather for her man to come right out and admit the truth that he’s not all that excited about her idea. They also know that she would not be hurt if they made suggestions on how to do what she wants to be done in a better or more efficient way. And, they are aware that she is trying to get them to finally admit that they have no idea where they made the wrong turn and got lost. But you see, that would destroy their own faith and trust in their warrior- hunter-provider instincts.

So come on ladies, just smile when he says these things and tell him you’re so thankful to have him as your man and watch him grin with new found confidence. Believe it or not, that’s when he may finally tell you the truth about what he’s thinking and how he feels. – Dr. Robert R Seyda

About drbob76

Retired missionary, pastor, seminary professor, Board Certified Chaplain and American Cancer Society Hope Lodge Director.
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