I’m sure all of you know that no matter what happens in your life that alters your course for a moment, it can be taken with either a negative or positive viewpoint. Unfortunately, many see it negatively unless it is meant to make you happy. Nevertheless, some people have been very disappointed with birthday or Christmas gifts. There’s one where a girl’s father gave her a car for graduation, but her reaction was negative because it wasn’t her favorite color.
So we can see that negative thinking and poor body image can seriously affect your life. You end up feeling tired, anxious, discouraged, or even depressed. But there is no reason to become a prisoner of negative thinking, feel more secure in your identity in God, and be less vulnerable to negative emotions. It may not be easy and require some of the most challenging mental work you will ever do. But in the end, you will be on the road to feeling better about the person God created you to be so you can do what He calls you to do.
There is a theme attached to negative emotions people have been experiencing. They include Anxiety, Discouragement, Fearfulness, Frustration, Low self-esteem, and others. But how can this be? Aren’t God’s people supposed to live victorious lives because Jesus has overcome the world? Unfortunately, most people know that message mentally but do not allow it to reach their hearts.
Let this impact your mind: “The thoughts on which you abide determine the world in which you reside.”
Wouldn’t it be nice if your old ways of thinking were wiped out when you accepted Jesus as your Savior? But that doesn’t happen. You may still hear critical voices from the past, anxiety about your present circumstances, or fear of the future.
This revelation explains how God’s people can be in just as much bondage as people of the world. As God’s child, you were never meant to live under mental oppression unless you remain a slave of our sinful tendencies. To cope with this, the Apostle Paul tells us we must knock down every tower of proud ideas that raises itself against what God’s Word tells us. We should also capture every thought and make it give up and obey Jesus the Anointed One who guides you in overcoming these issues (2 Corinthians 10:5).
Thus, we learn that negative self-talk should not be allowed to roam freely in your mind where it can wreck your life; you are “called” to actively take those thoughts as prisoners by the power of God’s Word. That takes work and patience, and yes, it takes time. But the effort is worth it because it keeps you from settling in Negativville.
Just imagine if all Christians would take this instruction to heart and put it into practice. We would bear the spiritual fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The world would see something different about us and want to know our secret. That would open the door for us to tell our unconverted neighbors and co-workers, even some family members, about Jesus, the author, and finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2)!
If you believe in that vision, try joining others in a 40-day challenge to transform negative self-talk into positive thinking using God’s Word.[1] Remember again: ensure that the world you live in is consistent with the abundant life that Jesus has for you! Be blessed with health, healing, and wholeness.
Courtesy of Kimberly Taylor:
Christian therapist for living fit, healthy, and empowered in Christ.
When I was very young, I heard older people talk about a little horse named “BlackBeauty.” It seemed to be some sort of icon that illustrated being polite. When I finally read the book, one portion struck me: the colt BlackBeauty told the story about his mother’s advice: “I wish you to pay attention to what I am going to say to you. The colts here are outstanding, but they are cart-horse colts, and of course, they have not learned manners. You have been well-bred and well-born; your father has a great name in these parts, and your grandfather won the cup two years at the Newmarket races; your grandmother had the sweetest temper of any horse I ever knew, and I think you have never seen me kick or bite. I hope you will grow up gentle and good and never learn bad ways; do your work with a good will, lift your feet up well when you trot, and never bite or kick even in play.”[1]
That gave the word “beauty” a new context for me. When used for people, we often equate it with physical attractiveness or when used for objects, their design, and function. However, at first-glance, says Dale Archer, a board-certified Psychiatrist, when we meet someone new, our first impression is about looks; only later do things such as personality, intellect, and character start to take on meaning. In collecting data from several countries and cultures, researchers found that beauty is absolutely connected with success – well, at least financial success.
Then, Amy Alkon, who writes a weekly advice column titled, Ask the Advice Goddess, mentions that a vast body of evidence indicates that men and women are biologically and psychologically different and that what heterosexual men and women want in partners directly corresponds to these differences. The features men tend to go for in women – youth, clear skin, a symmetrical face, a shapely body, feminine facial features, an hourglass figure – indicate that a woman would be a healthy, fertile candidate to pass on a man’s genes. These preferences span borders, cultures, and generations, meaning yes, there really are universal standards of beauty.
Most women, says Amy, prefer men who are taller than they are, with symmetrical features. But women across cultures are intent on finding male partners with high status, power, and access to resources – meaning a short guy can add a foot to his height with a private jet, thus looking very handsome.
But broadcast and podcast expert Dr. Rebecca Ray offers that the Psychology of Beauty can be expressed in five ways: 1) Set your own beauty standards. Establish what makes you feel beautiful. You get to wear what makes you feel good. You get to use beauty to honor yourself and how it fits you. 2) Choose the voices you prefer. Listen to the women who lead the charge for authenticity, body positivity, self-acceptance, holistic beauty, and eliminate ridiculous and unattainable standards. 3) Let go of judgment (on yourself and others). All too often, we buy into the media’s rigid expectations about what beauty means and judge ourselves and others when we don’t live up to their expectations. Your beauty is your business. 4) Choose a gentle path to self-approval. The inner voice we are most familiar with is usually the voice that’s critical and condemning, especially when it comes to body image and appearance. Instead, try going gentle on yourself. Try getting in touch with the kind and soft voice inside you. After all, if self-criticism worked, we would all be perfect by now. 5) Practice self-acceptance. Practice accepting yourself for everything you are rather than attacking yourself for everything you’re not. Perfection is impossible, and attempting to attain it is a guaranteed way to feel bad about yourself. That way, you can improve yourself according to the standards you choose.
Simran Khurana, Human resource development and management consultant, stated: Whenever you see a vibrant flower or a peacock majestically strutting his colorful plumes, revere the beauty of nature. Beauty is everywhere. Appreciate the beauty around you while beauty is still in its prime. He offers some notable quotes about beauty.
Joseph Addison: “There is nothing that makes its way more directly to the soul than beauty.”
Leo Tolstoy: “It is amazing how complete the delusion is that beauty is goodness.”
Edmund Burke: “Beauty in distress is much the most affecting beauty.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: “The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone.”
John Keats: “Beauty is truth, truth beauty.”
Henry David Thoreau: “The perception of beauty is a moral test.”
Saint Augustine: “Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul.”
But as Christians, what does the Bible say about beauty?
When Samuel was frustrated over King Saul’s behavior and attitude, the Lord told him, “Do not look on his being handsome or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)
The Tabernacle choir director heard King David say these words and made them into a hymn. “I praise you, for I am awesomely and beautifully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” (Psalm 139:14)
King Lemuel’s mother spoke these words: “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who reverences the Lord is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30)
King Solomon, as a preacher, said that “God has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
The Apostle Peter advised, “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on jewelry, beautiful clothes, or hair arrangement. Be beautiful inside, in your hearts, with the lasting charm of a gentle and quiet spirit that is precious to God.” (1 Peter 3:3-4)
[1]Black Beauty by Anna Sewell, published in 1877, Part I, Chapter 1
No doubt you watch the daily weather report, primarily when alerts are issued. However, women’s motivational speaker Kimberly Taylor said she woke up one morning with a weird word on her mind: “barometer.” Although she heard the word in weather reports, she didn’t know what it meant. Then, she felt the Spirit compelling her to look up the meaning. What she learned was a logical idea to share with those who often experience emotional storms – overwhelmed with depression, anger, anxiety, or other negative emotions. A barometer measures pressure in the atmosphere.
When the atmospheric pressure is high in your area, that means fair weather because the atmospheric wind downdraft can resist stormy weather patterns trying to move into where you live. But when the atmospheric pressure is low, bad weather can come into your area because of the wind updraft, and storms take the path of least resistance.
She received the spiritual insight that the only way to overcome emotional storms is to keep the atmospheric pressure inside yourself high by being packed by the downflow of the Holy Spirit. That way, when tensions are high in your external circumstances, you will be able to overcome them because they can’t get inside you. After all, He has already filled you! You are a new creation in the Anointed One, and Jesus lives out His life through you by the power of the Holy Spirit.
The Apostle Paul gives us a picture of our new character. He says, God has chosen you and made you part of His holy people. He loves you. So, your new life should be like this: Show mercy to others. Be kind, humble, gentle, and patient. Don’t be angry with each other but forgive each other. If you feel someone has wronged you, forgive them. Forgive others because the Lord forgave you. Together with these things, the essential part of your new life is to love each other. Love is what holds everything together in perfect unity.
Let the peace that Jesus the Anointed One gives control your thinking. The Spirit chose you to be together in one body peacefully. And always be thankful. Let the teaching of Jesus the Anointed One live inside you comfortably. Use all wisdom to teach and counsel each other. Sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Let everything you say bring glory and honor to Jesus, your Lord. And in all you do, give thanks to God the Father through Jesus (Colossians 3:12-17).
So, from now on, think of your feelings as a barometer. When you are full of the Spirit, you are full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23), which describes this Spiritual fruit Jesus said glorifies God. But when you are spiritually low, you are habitually worried, troubled, fearful, doubtful, depressed, jealous, prone to anger, selfish, envious, and lack self-control (Galatians 5:19-21). These thunderstorms carry the sinful works that cause hurricanes and tornados because those who practice such things will not inherit God’s kingdom of righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit!
When you feel this way, check your attitude. When you experience negative emotions, you will feel the tension in your body. Unfortunately, the enemy will often use this tension to move you to practice addictive habits. It’s like a puppet on a string! So, when you feel tense, consciously relax your body to release that tension. The more relaxed you are, the harder you make it for the enemy to pull on you!
Retreating to the shelter of the Most-High (Psalm 91:1), praying, meditating on His word, and speaking it to yourself throughout the day keep the spiritual pressure inside you high so you can resist emotional storms. Spiritual disciplines also inspire you to praise and worship Him. When praise and worship fill your heart, you will know that your Spiritual atmospheric pressure is high enough to endure and survive any storms that may come your way.
You can start practicing this principle every day. As you stay filled with the Spirit and let Him be your Guide, you will live a victorious life. You will also draw others to Jesus because they will see your difference and want your peace!
SKEPTICS may ask, why don’t people follow the advice of numerous proverbs and maxims of forethought available for centuries? Instead, they conclude that these apply only after some rightful venture has gone “horribly wrong.” When, for instance, a person gambles and loses all they have, including their house, why didn’t they remember the old Scottish proverb, “willful waste leads to woeful want?” But didn’t the gambler know this well-worn saying from earlier years? However, it wouldn’t have done much good. So, are the maxims of morality useless because people disregard them? For Christians and Jews, the Book of Proverbs is a great example. Yet, what about other religions and philosophers?
For example, German poet Johann Ludwig Tieck (1773-1853) once wrote:
“HE is not dead who departs this life with high fame; dead is he, though living, whose brow is branded with infamy.”
Sounds very familiar to the Apostle Paul’s message:
“You were spiritually dead because of your sins and not free from the power of your sinful self. But God gave you new life together with Christ. He forgave all our sins” Colossians 2:13.
We all know how it feels when something precious to us gets broken. Maybe there is some cherished memory, friend, object, or relationship that seems to disintegrate for no reason. Perhaps you felt as if something got broken in your life – either something within you or something in your circumstances?
When this happens, we often develop destructive habits, like emotional eating, as a reaction to brokenness. We do it hoping that such an unfamiliar habit can soothe our hurt feelings. And perhaps it does relieve the pain or grief for a little while – making us forget the brokenness. But sooner or later, those jagged pieces “cut” us again.
Before we know it, we get caught up in a destructive cycle; trying to escape that pain of brokenness to that something we hope will make us feel whole.
King David described this feeling well in Psalm 38:8:
“I am exhausted and completely crushed.
My groans come from an anguished heart” (New Living Translation NLT).
If you feel something broken in your life keeps driving you back to harmful behavior, here’s a prayer I read that may help you start the healing process.
This prayer contains the thoughts of two scriptures:
“The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart and saves such as have a repentant spirit” (Psalm 34:18). New Living Translation
God is high and lifted up. He lives forever. His name is holy. He says, “I live in a high and holy place, but I also live with people who are humble and sorry for their sins. I will give new life to those who are humble in spirit. I will give new life to those who are sorry for their sins” (Isaiah 57:15). Easy to Read Version.
To receive the Lord’s help when you are broken is to first recognize that you cannot repair yourself.
Many people are enslaved to corroding habits because they refuse to admit they need help. Their pride prevents them from doing so.
They treasure having a “golden image” of self-sufficiency and looking strong before others while falling apart inside. Yet, underneath it all, they live under the fear of being “found out.”
But freedom and healing will come when you cease worshipping the ego’s golden image and get real. You agree with God that destructive habit is not good. You are ready to submit your heart to Him for healing so you can be truly whole. It is of no benefit to you and may result in more brokenness.
Here is a prayer for you:
“Gracious Heavenly Father, in the compassionate name of Jesus, I am so grateful to you that You saved me from my sins! You said my sinful tendencies should have no dominion over me, for I am not under law but grace. I need your blessing so I can walk in freedom every day.
You welcome those who have a broken spirit and a broken and repentant heart. So, heavenly Father, let me come boldly into your throne room and stay there to receive Your mercy and to find grace to help me in my time of need (Hebrews 4:16). Lord, I am weak and broken in my heart, mind, soul, and body.
I recognize You as the One who heals the brokenhearted and binds up our wounds. I honor You as the Repairer of the Breach. Make me whole in You. Fill me with your comfort and your peace.
I am Your child, Your handiwork. I renounce the broken cisterns I’ve run dry in my life, those worthless things that can hold no water. Instead, I turn to You in my brokenness, the Fountain of Living Waters. You promised that those who come to You would have access to an everlasting spring – waters that will never fail. These waters will revive me and refresh others.
I believe Your word. Each day, perfect me in Your love. I know it is only Your perfect love that will cast out fear. As You heal me, make me a channel of blessing so that I may share with others the healing that You have worked out in me.
Thank You for saving me, Lord. Thank You for giving me a new vision beyond my pain, a new life that is complete – one that is healthy, healed, and whole in You!”
Have you ever been told to be more assertive? In the Oxford Dictionary, assertiveness is defined as direct, firm, positive – and, when necessary, persistent – action intended to promote equality in person-to-person relationships. In Psychology Today magazine, we read that assertiveness is a social skill that relies heavily on effective communication while simultaneously respecting the thoughts and wishes of others. People who are assertive clearly and respectfully communicate their wants, needs, positions, and boundaries to others.
There’s no question of where they stand, no matter what the topic. Individuals with high assertiveness don’t shy away from defending their points of view or goals or trying to influence others to see their side. They are open to both compliments and constructive criticism. People can improve their assertiveness through practical exercises and experience.
An assertive person communicates their wishes clearly and sets boundaries but does not make demands of others or lash out at unmet requests. Being assertive allows someone to make overtures to others and stand up for themselves or others non-aggressively. It can also protect them from bullies and other social predators. But keep in mind, sometimes insisting on helping someone out may seem appropriate assertiveness, but to the other person, it could be taken as unwanted interference and lack of trust in their ability.
From a cognitive standpoint, assertive people experience fewer anxious thoughts, even when under stress. From a behavioral perspective, assertive people are firm without being rude. They react to positive and negative emotions without becoming aggressive or resorting to passivity. People unable to assert themselves may experience sensitivity to criticism, extreme passivity, insecurity, anxiety, or even low self-esteem. Sometimes they are treated like emotional doormats whose needs always come second. In extreme cases, they may completely lose sight of what they need and want in life.
Dr. Jeremy Sutton, a writer, and researcher, studying the human capacity to push physical and mental limits, tells us that we all seek different outcomes in life. For example, one employee wants a vacation, another a raise, and someone else wants flexible working hours to spend more time with their family. Assertiveness is crucial when our desired outcomes compete with others. It affects how hard we push to get what we want and varies with time, context, and experience. Whether we concede ground or identify creative solutions that accommodate others’ needs can be down to our degree of assertiveness.
Being assertive or responsive enables the individual to influence others effectively; this could be as simple as providing information or an answer clearly, asking questions, backing up answers with solid reasons, or being persuasive. Conversely aggressive, and passive behaviors such as sarcasm, patronizing, putting yourself down, and avoidance are ultimately self-defeating. They damage the individual and the surrounding people.
Psychologist Joaquin Selva is a behavioral neuroscience researcher and scientific editor. He explains that assertiveness is a behavior used to express one’s needs in a healthy, prosocial manner. Being assertive can be beneficial in various social settings, although there can also be consequences to being excessively assertive. While some people are naturally more assertive, you can quickly learn to be assertive without being offensive.
This last point about equality is vital, as being assertive is about securing what one feels is fair, not simply manipulating people into giving one what they want. Assertiveness is a “stable and distinctive individual characteristic by which healthy and unhealthy persons may be distinguished.”
Assertive behaviors can be proactive or reactive as well as verbal or nonverbal so that one can assert themselves in many ways. Some examples of exercising assertiveness at work could include asking one’s boss for a raise, asking a coworker to do their share of a project, or simply not allowing someone to interrupt.
Assertiveness is similar to aggression, but there is a significant difference. Assertiveness involves “standing up for one’s rights without infringing upon those of others.” In contrast, aggression involves “the use of noxious stimuli to maintain rights.” The difference is that assertive people seek rights to put them on an equal footing with others, while aggressive people seek more rights. This distinction shows why assertiveness is a healthy, prosocial behavior while aggression is not.
Some literature considers aggressive behaviors to be a subset of assertiveness rather than a distinct behavior. Although, in these cases, aggression is considered “over-assertiveness,” there remains a distinction between aggression and the optimal amount of assertiveness. This difference is also defined as “aggressive assertiveness” and “adaptive assertiveness.”
Studies show, for instance, that more assertive nursing students scored higher on a “psychological empowerment” measure defined in terms of sense of meaning, competence, self-determination, and impact. Nursing students have also demonstrated a positive relationship between assertiveness and self-esteem. These benefits do not come from constantly acting assertively. However, it is essential to be assertive “in situations where the issue [is] important and when confrontation [is] agreeable,” but it is also important to be less assertive “in situations where the issue [is] unimportant and confrontation [is] not appropriate.”
Minimal assertiveness can lead to low achievement in work, while maximal assertiveness can hurt social relationships. In other words, the most significant benefits of assertiveness come from knowing when to be assertive rather than always being assertive and knowing how assertive one should be. Assertiveness can also serve as a protective factor. In some women who had just given birth, having higher levels of assertiveness meant they were less likely to develop postpartum depressive symptoms. While these findings are contingent upon the participant’s level of “cognitive flexibility,” they still show that being assertive can help one during negotiations and be a valuable trait to have in general.
Then Lucia Grosaru, editor of Psychology Corner, offers that a person whose thoughts and actions are guided by assertive principles can openly express their opinions, feelings, needs, and desires while acting according to chosen objectives and goals while at the same time respecting the views, feelings, needs, wants, dreams, and goals of others.
Basic principles linked to Assertiveness include the following:
Knowingly claiming your rights while at the same time respecting the rights of others.
Having the ability to set and respect personal boundaries.
Recognizing and assigning value to yourself and others.
Awareness of your strengths and vulnerabilities and, at the same time, recognizing the strengths of others and treating their vulnerabilities in a considerate manner.
Realizing you are in control of your own life. You are also aware that others have the right and skills to control their own lives.
Taking an active role in guiding your life.
Being guided by a sense of equality and seeking to promote equity in social interactions.
Acknowledging responsibility for your actions and understanding the limits of that responsibility. You also understand that others are responsible for their actions.
But what does God’s Word say about assertiveness?
King David made it clear, “Yahweh is our Light and our Protector. He gives us grace and glory. No good thing will He withhold from those who assert right living” (Psalm 84:11-12). And his son, King Solomon, added: “The wicked flee when no one pursues, but the righteous are as assertive as a lion” (Proverbs 28:1). So, we can see why after Jeremiah the prophet said told God he didn’t think he was able to communicate what God wanted the people to hear, the LORD would tell him, “Don’t say I’m just a child, for you will go wherever I send you and speak whatever I tell you to. Be assertive for I, the Lord, will be with you and see you through” (Jeremiah 1:7-8).
Then when Jesus came, He had a similar message for His disciples and others who followed Him. You’ve heard the old saying, “Love your friends and hate your enemies.” But I have news for you, be assertive and love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will act as your heavenly Father’s faithful children (Matthew 5:43-45).
Later, Jesus was very assertive, warning that no one can become my disciple unless they first sit down and count their blessings – and then renounces them all for me. After all, what good is salt that has lost its saltiness? Flavorless salt is fit for nothing – not even for fertilizer. It isn’t worth anything and must be gotten rid of. Think hard if you want to understand what I just said (Luke 14:33-35).
The Apostle Paul was also conscious of assertiveness as a virtue. He advised believers to stop being untruthful to each other, be assertive, tell the truth, for we are parts of each other, and when we are dishonest with each other, we hurt ourselves (Ephesians 4:25).
But it was our Lord’s Great Commission that should serve as our reason for being assertive when He charged His followers to go out and train everyone they meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I’ll be with you as you do this, day after day, right up to the end of the age (Matthew 28:19).
Kimberly Taylor is a certified Christian life coach with a heart for helping others struggling with various disorders. Once 240 pounds and a size 22, she can testify of God’s goodness and healing power to overcome. She lost 85 pounds due to implementing techniques through the management of Biblical principles.
She shares with us some of the healthiest daily habits to practice, telling us that she suffered from a severe bout with depression years ago. Yet, in the midst of it, the Lord challenged her with a verse found in Psalm 119:164: “Seven times a day I praise you because your laws are fair.” So, He impressed upon her to get a journal and write down seven things each day for which she was thankful. He further challenged her to do it each day for thirty days. She did. And by the end of that thirty days, she was happier and more peaceful than she had ever been! That depression lifted. If it ever tries to come back, she now knows how to resist it with gratitude – one of the healthiest habits.
Kimberly says it now seems that science is just catching up with God’s Word. For instance, a psychologist once studied people who suffered from depression and other neurotic disorders. He discovered that they all had one thing in common. They were all fault finders.
They focused on the worst within themselves, in other people, or in their life situations. However, praise and thankfulness are God’s will for His people. Listen to what the Apostle Paul tells us: “Therefore, whatever happens, always be grateful” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). This is how God wants us to live in the Anointed One, Jesus.
Kimberly adds that she believes many who suffer from emotional issues can take comfort in the words of the prophet Isaiah. He prophesied that the “Comforter God would send will provide for those who mourn, giving them garlands instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, a cloak of praise instead of a heavy spirit, so that they will be called oaks of righteousness planted by ADONAI, in which He takes great pride” (Isaiah 61:1-3 – Complete Jewish Bible).
Think about this: You must choose what clothes to wear daily. They don’t just magically appear on your body! So, set your heart on praise and thanksgiving each day, which is one of the healthiest habits. Then, try it every day for thirty days and see if it doesn’t help you on your health journey! I am sure you will agree it is the healthiest thing you can do daily.
4:20If anyone says, “I love God,” but keeps hating their spiritual brothers or sisters, they are lying; for if they don’t love their fellow believers right in front of their eyes, how can they love God whom they have never seen?
Marianne Meye Thompson (1964) ties 1 John 4:21-5:1 together as one extended thought. Finally, John tells us that God commands us to love. Whether we speak of love for God or others, God characterizes His divine will for humans in love. All those who are God’s children, like the Anointed One, are to love each other. It is a family affair. In 5:1, there are two parallel statements. One points to the importance of faith in Jesus, the other to the extent of loving each other.
These are not two separate commands a person must keep in becoming a child of God; instead, they are two expressions of what the child of God does. Faith and love express God’s work in a believer’s life. Each is centered in the person of Jesus the Anointed One: our faith is in Jesus as the Messiah of God, who provides the fundamental manifestation of God’s love for us to cope with others.[1]
Ken Johnson (1965) is unequivocal in saying that no one who hates their Christian brother or sister – does not testify that Jesus is the only begotten Son of God and the only way of Salvation – has God’s love abiding in them.[2]
Peter Pett (1966) says that those who are spiritual brothers and sisters in the Anointed One are where we can see God at work. His efforts are active within them as it is in us. He carries out His will through them. Each member has their part to play, and we are not whole without each member. If we do not love them (purpose well towards them and seek their good and rejoice in the truth we share with them), then we do not love the unseen God Who dwells within them, nor are we aware of the purpose to which He has called us.[3]
Duncan Heaster (1967) notes that the Apostle John offers the “commandment” to love our brethren as Jesus loved us on the cross.[4] Here the implications are unpacked further. That love of our fellow believers is part and parcel of our love for God. John repeats the same things from different angles and slightly plays with the words – in a desperate attempt to get us all to perceive the utterly fundamental importance of love for all our fellow believers is the only way we can love God.[5]
David Legge (1969) states that there is one more theme we need to look at: the social test of love. You might believe the correct doctrine and even behave morally – but listen to what the Apostle John says at the end of this chapter. If anyone starts bragging, “I love God,” and goes on hating their Christian brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, they are liars. If these people won’t love the person they can see, how is it possible for them to love the God they can’t see?
In the early days of radio in Britain, says Legge, Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950) mentioned that mishearing can sometimes lead to mispronunciation of a name or phrase. For instance, in a famous Scottish ballad in the 1500s, “The Bonnie Earl o’Moray,” stanza three reads like this:
“You highlands and you Lowlands
O, where have you been?
They have slain the Earl of Moray
And laid him on the green.”
Someone, who was not that good a speaking Irish, heard it and began quoting it as follows:
“You Highlands and you Lowlands
O, where have you been?
They have slain the Earl Amurray
And Lady Mondegreen.”
John is asking, did you hear what I said? Listen to me again; if you hate your Christian brother or sister, you lie when you say you love God. The command from the Godhead is blunt: Loving God includes loving people, and you’ve got to love both; just one won’t do.[6]
Gary H. Everett (1972) notes that using the word “Amen” at the end of most books of the Final Covenant suggests that it was supplied later as a liturgical confession. For example, in the Greek Textus Receptus, the word “Amen” is attached to the end of all thirteen of Paul’s epistles. The four Gospels, as well as the General Epistle of Hebrews, 1-2 Peter, 1-3 John, and the Book of Revelation. Epistles of Hebrews, 1-2 Peter, 1-2 John, and the book of Revelation. However, because “Amen” is missing in the more ancient manuscripts, many scholars believe this word is a later liturgical addition.
This declaration goes back to the Mosaic Law when the Israelites were to declare “Amen” at reading God’s Laws and judgments to affirm these truths over their lives.[7] Likewise, the psalmists used this word to conclude several psalms.[8] The fact that “Amen” comes at the end of all the books in the Final Covenant, except Acts of the Apostles, James, and 3 John, suggests that this Jewish tradition carried over into the Final Covenant Church.
Furthermore, the Apostle Paul uses “Amen” in his letters to the Corinthians[9] as his benediction. Therefore, the early apostolic churches perhaps added “Amen.” We see this in Paul’s declaration, “For all of God’s promises have been fulfilled in the Anointed One with a resounding “Yes!” And through the Anointed One, our “Amen” ascends to God for His glory.”[10] The closing declaration of “Amen” in the books of the Final Covenant is a Hebrew word that means “I believe,” “so be it,” or “yes,” and God’s people use it throughout the Scriptures as a verbal affirmation of their faith in the truth of His Word. This word has echoed throughout heaven for eternity past, and heaven’s angelic hosts and God’s children will shout “Amen” eternally.[11][12]
As we have seen, chapter four emphasizes how God’s agápē removes the natural human horror of rejection. Fear is a punishment of its own, and those who do not believe have reason to dread judgment. Believers, on the other hand, be bold. Not only has the Anointed One forgiven our sins, but He gives us God’s agápē. Following in this love leads to acceptance, confidence, and driving out any anxiety. This chapter is the crucial section of John’s letter, explaining how faith builds up confidence in the life of a believer.
THE END
Congratulations! Your faithfulness and interest in God’s Word have brought you to a landmark accomplishment. In thirty weeks, you just finished reading 151 Lessons on John’s First Epistle.
Any comments, suggestions, or questions are welcomed and would be greatly appreciated.
We will take a break in September and return for the last road trip through the fifth chapter of John’s First Epistle. I know you will enjoy it because portions are very profound, but you will learn much about the evidence for claiming that Jesus is the Anointed One, the Messiah, God’s only begotten Son.
[1] Thompson, Marianne M., The IVP New Testament Commentary, op. cit., p. 129
[2] Johnson, Ken. Ancient Epistles of John and Jude, op. cit., p. 79
[3] Pett, Peter: Commentary on the Bible, op. cit., PDF, loc. cit.
4:20If anyone says, “I love God,” but keeps hating their spiritual brothers or sisters, they are lying; for if they don’t love their fellow believers right in front of their eyes, how can they love God whom they have never seen?
So, suppose it is your aspiration and your church’s goal to save sinners in this lost and dying world. In that case, it isn’t our music, witnessing, preaching, or altar calls that are the primary power source for the Holy Spirit to draw people to the cross and salvation. Instead, the foremost virtue and characteristic Christians need to develop to make the Gospel attractive is our love for our fellow Christians and citizens.
Michael Eaton (1942-2017) says there is something very crushing in accepting the truth about ourselves and knowing that God still receives us. Yet, it somehow enables us to leave our case and our cause in the hands of God. We become like Jesus, surrender our reputation, our conviction that we are correct, and our passionate desires to have things our way. And we admit that there is something far more critical, the command we have from Him “to love our fellow believers” and those to whom the Holy Spirit sends us.”[1]
William Loader (1944) sees the Apostle John bringing together the aspects: “whoever loves God must love their fellow Christian.” The word “must” shows that loving one’s fellow believer is not something that happens automatically, as if it occurs through a mystical transformation without human effort. The truth is that for John, love is a conscious choice. It is a command. At the same time, love is a choice made possible by the prior expressing affection, which comes from God. Therefore, believers are to make a conscious effort to let such compassion reach its perfection in them.[2]
David Jackman (1947) laments that one of our greatest sins as Christians today is that we talk a lot about loving God. We may try to express it in our worship with great emotion, but what does it mean when we are so critical of other Christians, so ready to jump to negative conclusions about people, so slow to bear their burdens, so unwilling to step into their shoes? Such lovelessness contradicts what we profess and flagrantly disobeys God’s commands. It becomes a major stumbling block to those seeking peace through salvation in the Anointed One. It also renders any attempts at evangelism useless. In many churches and fellowships, we need fresh repentance on this matter, a new humbling before God, an honest confession of our need, and a cry to God for mercy and grace to change us.[3]
John W. (Jack) Carter (1947) summarizes that if we have lived our Christian life on the power of phileo love, shedding its hypocrisy can be difficult. Phileo establishes a pattern of self-desires, self-will, and hypocrisy that will be hard to break. However, with God, all things are possible. The Christian can take this need to God in prayer, asking for a better understanding of the appropriate expression of agápē. With agápē, there will be no limit to how God uses gifts for the kingdom’s purposes. There is no limit to how God uses us to touch one another with acts of love and charity that strengthen our relationships, encourage one another, and develop a closer relationship with God. Why would we choose the phileo love of this world? Once we are born again, we replace the worldly phileo that characterized our heart before salvation with God’s agápē that will form the basis of our new nature totally submitted to the Lord. Let us, even at this time, make a new commitment to love God and one another in the way He has called us to do.[4]
Robert W. Yarbrough (1948) notices that verse twenty begins with a word pair that echoes Jesus’s language in John’s Gospel: “if anyone.” In the Synoptic Gospels, the words occur on Jesus’s lips at only two junctures: when Jesus tells two disciples to go and untie a colt for Jesus’s entry into Jerusalem,[5] and when Jesus foretells the announcement of false Messiahs.[6] In marked contrast, John’s Gospel quotes Jesus to this effect in some ten passages.[7]
Then in verse twenty-one, the Apostle John summarizes and extends his point. The words “from Him” could either mean from God or Jesus but are too dogmatic that John could be referring only to Jesus. The personal reference is significant; John bases his counseling on a relationship with the Father and the Son, not impersonal moralism. John recalls when someone asked Jesus about the “greatest commandment.”[8] Or he remembers the First Covenant passage on which Jesus based his answer.[9] The point is the same. The imperative to love others is implicit in the claim to love God. The true lover of God loves His commandments also.[10][11]
Colin G. Kruse (1950) says that in this verse, the Apostle John repeats a significant theme from what the Lord said at the Last Supper. On that occasion, Jesus stressed that His disciples’ love for Him must express itself in obedience to His command to love one another. For instance, “I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other;”[12] “If you love me, obey My commandments.”[13] “This is my commandment: Love each other the same way I have loved you.”[14] “This is my command: Love each other.”[15] John’s purpose in picking up this theme here is to reassure his readers who did love their fellow believers that they knew God and to show them that the claims of the secessionists to know him were false.[16]
Judith M. Lieu (1951) This is the first time the letter has spoken explicitly of someone loving God, says Lieu, even though John denied that love is determined by “our” love before receiving God’s agápē. Yet, that such love was possible was not rejected. It is characteristic of the biblical tradition that those who love God are those who faithfully respond to God. The fundamental call to Israel, the Shema, is to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and strength.”[17] It is improper to define all love for God in contrast to some other emotion or the absence of any.
But in contrast to allegiance to some other deity, says Lieu, it is evident that to love God is to serve God and obey God’s commands.[18] Given this biblical background, it is improbable that there were people presently or previously associated with the readers who were in danger of separating an emotional response to God from an obedient commitment. It is also unlikely that anyone would have understood such love along the lines of later developments in Christian thought, where God’s agápē comes to mean a profoundly personal, inner spiritual experience. Yet the Apostle John does envision a danger of separating response to God from response to one’s fellow believer.[19]
Ben Witherington III (1951) does not want anyone to become too narrow-minded in this discussion of the matter; it serves us well to remember that Jews were equally insistent that we love our fellow human beings. Rabbi Hillel once said, “Be of the disciples of Aaron – a lover of peace, a pursuer of peace, one who loves the creatures and draws them close to Torah.”[20] The love commandment did not distinguish the early Jewish community from the Christian one; what distinguished them was the Anointed One’s influence and model of love in the Christian community.[21]
Gary M. Burge (1952) points out that the Apostle John closes this section with an appeal. He has been describing two dimensions in our experience: (1) the love we share with God (expressed through Jesus the Anointed One), and (2) the love we share in the community (viewed as a by-product of God’s agápē). To be sure, it is easier to love people we see rather than an invisible God. But, in the last two verses, John does not say that we should practice human love to grow into divine love. Nor is he saying that human love is the only way we love God. The absence of love for one another betrays a lack of love for God. Those who live with this duplicity, saying that they love God but, in their hearts, hate some human being, are (in John’s unyielding words) “liars.”
This final appeal, says Burge, does not rely on experience to fuel our love. Instead, for those whose lives require a more potent stimulus, the Apostle John ushers a divine command: “Whoever loves God must also love their brother and sister in the Lord.” Similar words have occurred elsewhere in this letter.[22] The point bears emphasis since John’s community was undoubtedly struggling with impulses to hate their opponents.[23]
Bruce G. Schuchard (1958) now asks, “What is love?” it is a question asked by theologians, philosophers, and ethicists; by romantic poets and adolescents; by betrayed spouses and abandoned children; by the hopeful and the hopeless; by the dreamy-eyed and the cynical. But they want to know about human love. So, in contrast, the Apostle John suggests that agápē happens when inspired by grace through faith in the God who loved us first. We are also encouraged by the personal sacrificial work of God’s Son, in whom we live according to His example among fellow believers, or our living and loving have no actual meaning.[24]
[1] Eaton, Michael: Focus on the Bible, 1,2,3, John, op. cit., p. 171
[2] Loader, William: Epworth Commentary, op. cit., p. 58
[3] Jackman, David: The Message of John’s Letters, op. cit., pp. 131-132
[4] Carter, Dr. John W. (Jack). 1,2,3, John & Jude: Holding to the Truth in Love (The Disciple’s Bible Commentary Book 48), pp. 111-112
Down an Unfamiliar Road 