03/28/26

In recent weeks, we have heard the term “negotiations” used repeatedly. There are “negotiations” with Iran, “negotiations” with the big oil companies, with pharmaceuticals, teachers’ unions, etc. So, I started thinking, what does the term “negotiation” really mean? I consulted Daniel Webster’s Dictionary, and it defines it as a “discussion aimed at reaching an agreement.” It is derived from the Latin negōtiātus, meaning “to carry on business”. It is rooted in negotium (“business, employment, affair”), which literally means “lack of leisure.” It implies “Busyness” or “not having leisure.” In other words, “stop playing around and get serious.”

Then I decided to see what psychologists have to say. I found out that they view the word negotiation not just as a business transaction, but as a fundamental, daily human interaction characterized by a “joint decision-making process involving interactive communication.” Then I read that psychologists also broadly define it as “interactions between two or more points of view”. This includes everything from salary talks to deciding where to have dinner with a spouse. In other words, to negotiate is to choose communication over conflict to resolve differences. For some, a successful negotiation is increasingly seen as a “win-win” collaborative problem-solving exercise rather than a “winner-takes-all” battle where one side must lose for the other to gain. Meanwhile, while it feels to the mind like a strategic negotiation, it is deeply emotional. Decisions are often driven by an “emotional mind” that can overpower the “logical mind.” We find out that effective negotiations often hinge on addressing “core concerns” such as independence, appreciation, affiliation, status, and fulfilling roles. It is also reported that using the word “fairness” is often used as a powerful tool to yield better offers and maintain positive relationships. The biological impact is that creating common ground in negotiations can activate reward circuits in the brain, release a chemical messenger often called “feel-good,” and act on the brain’s reward and motivation center.

With all that said, what does the Bible say about negotiation? God’s Word explicitly warns against negotiating with the devil, framing any interaction as a temptation to be resisted rather than a deal to be made. Instead of bargaining, scripture advocates submitting to God and resisting Satan, causing him to flee. Jesus, in the wilderness, refused all deals, setting a precedent of rebuking with God’s word. In summary, the Bible advises that negotiations with the devil are deceptive traps, and the only appropriate response is total rejection, maintained through adherence to God’s authority.

Well, then, what about negotiations with God? The Bible generally advises against bargaining or “negotiating” with God, urging instead trust, obedience, and direct prayer. While figures like Jacob and Abraham interceded or made vows, God is depicted as sovereign rather than a partner in a business deal. A true relationship with God is based on grace, not conditions. The apostle Paul made that clear when he said, “Who can know what is on the Lord’s mind? Who can give Him any advice? But we have been given the Christ’s way of thinking.” (1 Cor 2:16).

And finally, what does the Scriptures say about negotiating with each other? The Bible does not use the modern term “negotiation” as a formal business concept. Still, it provides extensive guidance on the principles of dialogue, compromise, and mutual agreement for resolving conflicts and conducting affairs. Biblical negotiation is rooted in pursuing peace, acting with integrity, and valuing others’ interests alongside your own. One core biblical principle for negotiation is to prioritize relationships over winning: A central theme is valuing the other person more than yourself (Philippians 2:3-4). Instead of a “competitive” approach in which you look out only for your own interests, the Bible encourages a “cooperative” approach aimed at solutions that benefit everyone involved. Scripture also encourages us to seek wisdom and guidance: Before entering a negotiation or addressing a conflict, believers are encouraged to seek God’s wisdom through prayer (James 1:5). And one important principle is to listen first, speak second: Effective negotiation requires active listening to understand the other party’s needs, fears, and limitations. Proverbs 18:13 warns that answering before hearing is “folly and shame.” We should never approach a brother or sister without absolute integrity: Honesty is non-negotiable. Ephesians 4:25 instructs believers to speak truthfully with their neighbors. Negotiations should be conducted justly and fairly, without greed or exploitation. That’s why the ultimate goal of resolving disputes is often peace rather than just a “deal.” Romans 12:18 advises living at peace with everyone as far as it depends on you.