Having taught and ministered in Asia for nine years, I became interested in Chinese sayings and proverbs. One that I found goes like this: “A thorn defends the rose, harming only those who would steal the blossom.” I read where one person explained what they thought after being asked what does this proverb mean? They said: “The rose, someone or something who is happy, satisfied and/or beautiful, is protected by something, and only those who seek to steal the happiness, knowledge or radiance from that person/thing will be in trouble.”

So it doesn’t take a genius to see the moral teaching of this proverb. But it does allow for various ways to apply this virtuous saying. For instance, there is such a thing as responding to disrespect with dignity. That means, even though someone is treating you disrespectfully, don’t respond in the same manner. Too often, the urge to be right can generate a degrading response.

It is natural to fight back when we encounter verbal abuse coming our way. But we must train ourselves to set limits so that we don’t go overboard in our response, thereby become as undignified as the person verbally attacking us. We all know, that sometimes in the heat of the debate there is a compelling desire to win. As adults, we want to be treated like adults.

Yet, we all must acknowledge there is often room for improvement in our attitude and action. We cannot automatically assume that we are always right. Many times, people see things in us that we are not willing to admit are there. It may come from the fact that we are not prepared, to be honest with ourselves. So before you strike back, ask yourself, “What is their goal? Are they trying to tell me something I need to know about myself?” Remember, no matter what response immediately pops into your mind, look for a more gentle way of saying the same thing.

There were many times when Jesus sharply criticized His disciples for having too little faith and lack of trust. But He did so because He wanted their faith to increase and their trust to grow. And He was very successful because He Himself served as the best example of doing things right. Keep in mind, unless they are given a reason to respect you, as soon as you point to their wrongs they will point to yours. – Dr. Robert R Seyda